It has been an obscene amount of time since I've written in this thing. I've had about a billion things on my mind so now seems like as good a time as any. Hope I don't bore you all too much.

This semester has been a little strange. So many people are abroad which makes me a little sad I never went but I know it doesn't work well with my program and I'll have plenty of time after college. It's just still sad to hear all their fun stories and knwo I'm stuck in this life here in DC. Not that life here is terrible, but this semester has been emotionally trying.

For the first time in college my living situation is actually really good. I moved into a shittier building but with someone I actually know and like. Jodee and I see far too much of each other between living here, working, and classes but its still working out well. It's nice not feeling out of place in my own room. And she's been here for me through all my retarded drama which I appreciate to no end.

The most trying part has been work related actually. A couple months ago I interviewed with one of the Big 4 accounting firms for a summer internship, which is an amazing opportunity. A couple of my classmates also did this, along with Jodee. For some reason, even though I looked best on paper, I was the only one not get the job. I've thought of a million reasons why this may have happened but it still sucked a lot. My ego took a blow I wasn't prepared for. I still have my current job which is nice and I've applied to some other firms who may want me, but I really wanted this so it was hard to handle, especially because I'll be living with Jodee while she gets to do it. I'm happy for her though. I'm pretty much guaranteed for the next summer since I'm going for a 5th year and most of the firm want interns between senior year and grad school b/c of stupid credit requirements to get a CPA. But enough of that boring shit. Just wanted to bitch about it for a minute.

On to boys.. because we know theres always something with that. I'm dating someone now. Thats a weird statement. Never been in this situation before. Either have had a boyfriend or a hookup, not dating. I kinda like it though. He's 30, which I know is a little iffy but when I hang out w/ him I'm really happy. We met at a bar like a month or so ago and hit it off after that. It's still very casual but I like how things are. I think I like him more than he likes me which sucks but it keeps it more interesting. I get bored when I have someone who act exactly how I want them to. A couple people liked me earlier this year and I got bored of them in a day. As shady as I know this may be it feels ok. I even told my mom about him. She didn't freak out which was nice. I don't think shes thrilled but she understands its something I'm gonna do and see what happens.

School has been beyond stressful. I've never felt so overwhelmed in my life. I was calling out of work to do schoolwork it got so bad, which of course annoyed my bosses. I took on way too much this semester and I'm paying for it. I need to learn my limits becuase I've had a couple nervous breakdowns this semester, and that was not pretty. I just need to get to May 12 and it'll be all over. I can't wait for that.

Well I guess thats enough. Just had some free time and wanted to ramble about shit for a while.

So the end up of the semester is upon us once again. Of course I'm feeling as lazy as ever. I've done well so far this semester but I need to get motivated to keep my grades where they are. I think i have a shot at 4.0 for the first time in my life. Wont get my hopes up for that though.

Drinking has been a problem lately. My tolerance seems lower which sucks and my memory has gotten shakier than ever. It's really starting to frustrate me and make me feel shitty so its time to cut back and chill for a while. Its been some fun times but not worth how I'm feeling right now. I've never lost my memory on this little drinks before, very disconcerting.

For work one of our clients is the white house travel office and i am undergoing government clearance so i can continue to help with the account. This year my bosses and I were invited to the white house christmas party. Im so excited. I'll actually be in the white house and see george and laura. im not a big fan of his politics but i couldnt be more excited for this. its gonna be amazing. so many pictures will be taken. too bad its at 930 am and ill be coming from home most likely. itll be worth it though.

My thanksgiving was good this year. Went to my cousins and saw her husband's family, who are much nicer to me than my real family. It was really nice. Drank lots of wine and then my cousin made me do a shot of Petron tequila. thats some good shit. much better than the cheap crap i have here. also saw jon a lot while i was home. that was cool, went better than expected. also saw harry potter w/ alysa. pretty good movie, i prob like it better since i dont read the books and have nothing to compare it to.

I'm moving again. Living with 3 best friends has taken its toll on me. Theyre nice enough but this is just not a good situation and my friend jodee has openings in her room so it just makes a lot of sense. for the first time ill have a roommate of chance instead of random. sad thats its taken so long. next year ill prob live w/ her again if it goes well and she wants to move off campus. im graduating a semester early so i dont want to stay in the dorms b/c ill be forced to move out even tho ill be in a grad program here. scary how thats coming so soon.

Im starting to miss the feeling of having a boyfriend again. Being single has its perks but im really ready to settle down for a while and theres no one. this has unfortunately been getting me down lately. i try not to think about but its hard when it seems like so many other people are meeting, even tho thats prob not the case either.

I guess thats pretty much the update on my life. good luck to everyone getting through the next couple weeks.

I've learned a lot this weekend. It was far from being good but I've realized a lot so i guess that's all that matters. i thought jon and i were getting along again and things were good after i visited him. But it turns out he's still the same ass hole he's always been and making me feel horrible about myself like all of first semester last year. In the back of my mind I knew this would happen so I only have myself to blame. hopefully Ive learned this lesson for the final time. no one has a right to make me feel as shitty as i have the last few days, and the things that were said were incredibly hurtful and unnecessary.

In other news.. I have a fake id. not a great one, its my roommates expired one so i doubt itll work for very long. im taking advantage of it while i can though. this past tuesday i went to happy hour with some friends from classes which was lots of fun. we drank more than we planned but shit happens. we didnt have a lot of work for one of the first times all semester so it didnt matter. im still doing well so i dont see any problems.

I havent really done anything the past couple days. I chilled w/ mike, mike, and francis after work yesterday but came home early for a variety of reasons. today i've just sat in the room and watched tv. i feel like a waste of life when i have days like this. especially when i know it'll probably happen again tomorrow. i'm really ready for it to be thanksgiving break. school has been so crazy all semester it'll be nice to have a week with nothing to worry about and knowing that when i get back only a few more weeks and this hell will be over. I dunno what im gonna do over winter break. i havent been home for an entire months in almost 2 years. last winter break i went to israel and spent the time after that sleeping/jet lagged. i was here all summer so i dunno what im gonna do with myself. i know hardly any people in columbia want to see me so i think its gonna be a rough time for me. im gonna be off work the entire time which means i have a month with absolutely nothing to do. i feel like thats gonna get old real fast.

i should be sleeping. im not doing anything right now but for some reason im just staying up. last night i woke up basically every hour which was frustrating. probably because of the bullshit thats been the last few days. at least im pushing that away now though. no more taking shit from people who have no right to say anything.

So this past weekend I went to Towson and visited Jon. I'm sure some of you have a problem with this but I had my reasons and really don't need to hear why you all think it was a bad idea. We aren't back together or anything, we just had to talk about some stuff. It was really nice to get away from here for the weekend. Went to parties both nights which ended up being a lot of fun. Got really drunk Friday night so Saturday I couldn't have that much. Saturday night was a pimps and hoes party, first one of those I ever went to. It was fun dressing up like that tho I was a little self conscious at first. Jon didn't wear pimp clothes tho which was dumb of him haha. A ridiculously drunk boy told me he wanted to marry me, that was hilarious. Both nights were really good though. Met some cool people. I'm glad I went even though things with he and I are still not completely clear. We're in a much better place than times in the past and I think that's all that matters right now. One day it'll all get straightened out.

Tonight is Halloween and I have so much work to do so I can't go out which is sad. A couple of my friends may head into Georgetown around midnight so if I get enough done by then I'll go. We'll see how it goes. It would be nice if I had the whole night free.

My life is pretty boring right now. I've been in a weird mood for a while now. I don't really know what it is. Something is just missing or not right, its hard to explain. A couple of my friends here are saying the same thing. There's something very strange about this year. I guess part of it is realizing how close to the real world we all are. I'm graduating a semester early so just over a year from now I'll be done. I'm gonna do a 30 credit masters program but that's different. Not being 21 is also hard. I'm sick of clubs and frat parties and shit like that but can't go to decent bars like my roommates and other people I know. It sucks to feel older and get nothing for it. The boy situation is always an issue but I don't think thats the big one right now. Sure i'm jaded by all the shit thats happened in the last few months but I still know I'll find someone for me. It's just a matter of time. Some days it really is hard to see all the couples around here though. With the holidays coming its a shitty time to be alone..

Hope everyone has a more exciting Halloween than I do.

At the beginning of the semester I was doing so well w/ keeping up with my work but lately I've fallen way behind. I'll be spending the next 2 nights at the library to catch up unfortunately. I'm def starting to get to that stress point where it seems like nothing will ever get done. It's mostly because I can't do work in my room like I used to. I have a lot more to do than my roommates so there are always distractions in the room. Other than that the room situation is good though. Best as having random roommates again can go.

This past weekend was good. Friday night I saw Jon Stewart because GW got him to come for parents weekend. He was hilarious. The Saturday Jyoti called me to tell me she was shopping in georgetown so when she was done she came here and stayed the night. We went to this party and had a lot of fun. Too bad I don't remember the end of the night haha.

This coming weekend should be good too. I'll be going to Towson. It'll be nice to get away from here for a weekend and be at a state school to go to some good parties before the hell of school continues. I'm actually really looking forward to it.

Nothing else is going on in my life so I'll end this here. Good luck to anyone who still has midterms to take.

Things have been pretty good lately. Last weekend was Karolina's bday so Saturday was a pretty drunken night, just the right amount though. No being retarded and not too much of a hangover. Some weird stuff happened thats confusing me a bit but its not worth thinking about so i wont get into it. I have completely given up on Tyler ever being a decent boy. If he thinks he can hook up w/ me one night and not talk to me for over a week hes severely mistaken. At least now I know without a doubt he's an ass hole not worth my time anymore. Feels good for that chapter to finally be closed.

School stuff is going well. I've had a couple exams so far and both went very well. Much to my surprise in my federal taxation class. At least I won't be failing out now haha. I've decided where I want to intern next summer. Deloitte, which is one of the big 4 accounting firms. Now I just gotta put in the effort of applying. If only I weren't lazy..

I've completely lost my voice. This is the first time I've had actual laryngitis, not just sounded shitty b/c of a cold/cough of whatever. it sucks a lot. I've had so much tea and cough drops. Hopefully it wont last too much longer. I can't take many more days of this. Talking shouldn't require so much effort. Most of today and yesterday i couldn't get above a whisper.

I'm going home for the weekend tomorrow. If anyone is there and wants to do something let me know. If i can talk i'm sure ill want to get out of my house. Most of my friends are out tonight but I couldnt go which is sad. I hate being sick. But I'm not even sick I guess. I feel fine but cant talk. very strange... thats all for now. just wanted to waste some time b/c im bored..

Ignore the Tyler part of the last entry. Finally saw him. Things were actually good, not awkward at all which was nice. We didn't talk about why we hadn't hung out which was probably for the best. Just kinda went on as if nothing had ever happened and we were the same as always. Who knows if we're gonna start hanging out often again or not, doesn't really matter. I'm just glad I know that we're actually good.

Other than that this weekend was unexciting. Good but no stories to report. I have so much work to do right now, its insane. This whole year will be like that from what I can tell. 2 tests and a quiz coming up. And they won't be anywhere near easy. I joined an accounting organization that'll basically guarantee me an internship at the big 4 this summer and a job after i graduate if I don't stay where i am now, which my bosses are telling me is a possibility. I can't think that far ahead.

I updated last night and read it today and hated it. So heres a new one. In some parts of my life I'm happier than I have been in a very long time. I finally have close girl friends who I trust completely and who I know understand me. They've been through similar things as me and I know I can do anything and not be lectured about it. I don't do a lot of stupid shit anymore but I know if I do they will still be there for me. Unlike the friends I had in high school and some of the others I had in Columbia. It used to be I always had a guy to keep me occupied and struggled for girl friends but now things are the opposite. Boys are just pissing me off.

Tyler and I haven't hung out at all. I saw him once in a group of people. It's so ridiculous. I don't even care about to hooking up part. Obviously I wouldn't be against that but I thought we were friends and now it seems as though he doesn't think the same. It kills me. I've run into him a few times and its just so hard to see him knowing he has no interest in being in the same room as me. When things were going on with it never felt like friends with benefits. When we'd hang out it'd be a lot more than just sex. We talked about a lot of things. It never occurred to me that this is how we'd end up. He lives 5 floors above me and I never see him. I know he's not that great and not even my type really. But things were really nice last year and I miss it. It's more the idea of what we had than actually him. I just figured he'd be the easiest way to get that back.

I've been so fucked up in the head lately that I've calling Jon when I've been drunk lately. I don't know what the fuck that is about. It can't be a good idea though. It's not even that I'm trying to get anything from him, I don't know its just nice to have a guy to talk to at night I guess. Every time I do it I know I'm most likely being stupid and yet it doesn't stop me the next week. For some reason it doesn't annoy him because we always talk for a while and he actually answers the phone. I'd like to think we were actually becoming friends but I know we probably still can't hang out just the 2 of us. It's been a long time since we broke up but its so easy to fall into old habits. Especially when there was a billion days in a row last summer of us hanging out alone. Since we weren't really friends before we dated we don't know anything else.

Classes are going ok I guess. The accounting program is a lot more work than I was thinking it would be but I'm sure I'll do fine with it. As overwhelmed as I've gotten with work in the last couple years I always get through it and get good grades. I hope I picked the right major. I'm starting to question that though there is nothing else I can think of doing instead. I'll be successful and rich, but I don't know about satisfied. I'm sure I can make the best of anything. I still envy the people who are truly passionate about something. Though the fact that they seem to be uncertain about ever having a job makes me feel a little better. I don't know which path is better. It scares me to think about the future. Its crazy that college is more than halfway done. I have to start thinking about possibly graduating a semester early and the 30 credit masters program and the cpa exam. Its way too much. I just want to feel young and now I actually have to start acknowledging the fact that we're growing up and the real world is right around the corner.

Well I'm sure I've bored you all enough. I don't know why I even bother with this anymore because I don't talk to hardly any of the people I actually have as friends on here...

So much can change in just a year. This time last year I was coming home from visiting Jon in WV before school started. I had been completely dependent on 1 person for an entire summer and become saw some of my good friends a lot less than I should have because of that. When I got to school last year I think I always knew in the back of my mind that I wouldn't be able to stay in that relationship. After the first night of school I had already been tempted and knew that it wasn't meant to last. Now that I'm going off to school completely single life is a lot different. I won't be held back by anything and I'm ready to meet new people. And I don't mean hookups. I'm so sick of dealing with all that. It was fine for a while, but as I was nicely reminded by Marta today I deserve much better and more than anything I've ever gotten from anyone. I'm finally starting to see that I've sold myself way too short over the past few years. As nice as my situation was last year, I always knew that wasn't enough for me. I need to find someone who is willing to give me the whole package and not settle for less just because it's good in the moment.

Unfortunately for me I met that person but nothing can happen. We dated the end of the semester and I went away with him and his family for a weekend this summer. The whole time I was telling myself I didn't like him since i knew he'd be leaving for 5 months for a semester abroad. Of course telling yourself things only lasts so long. That has ended and I realize now that I do like him. He's already gone and we've talked like once online since he left a month ago. It sucks. I guess all I can do is enjoy first semester and see what happens when he gets back. A lot can change in this time so I dunno.

I haven't updated at all this summer. It was a good one. I ended up with a really cool random roommate who I had a lot of fun with. We had some good times and luckily I was good and didn't do anything too stupid. I really am changing. I've said it many times before but it really is happening this time. I used to just say it to get people off my back but now its for me. I finally see what I deserve and need. I can't let people make me feel like shit anymore.

Being home has been strange. I have almost no friends here. Last week was really random getting high with some people I haven't even talked to in a couple years. Each time I come back home I feel less and less connected with anything. I've been feeling really out of place which is depressing me a bit. And with my dad its so hard. We get along well when I'm not here but after a week we aren't doing well at all. I could go back to campus now since I got to move in early b/c of the summer housing but theres no one there so I don't think thats a better option. A couple weeks of free food and laundry helps after having to supports myself this summer, which was unlike all my friends. I was the only one paying for the apartment and my eating and everything. As annoying as it can be its a really good feeling to be able to say I can support myself without my parents.

I guess thats all... Less than a week til I'm back at school and everyone is back. I can't wait to see whats gonna happen this year. I feel like it's gonna be a good one. Hopefully Im right.

So I've been home for over a week now and luckily I am going back to DC tomorrow. Being here has been pretty miserable. I saw a couple people but I know realize that I have almost nothing left in Columbia. Part of that is probably my fault, but part is just the fact that I'm hardly here. I've been pretty unhappy the last few days. When you realize you once had so much somewhere and then all of a sudden its gone, its tough to swallow. I think my life here was basically the same last summer except I was with Jon and saw him all the time so I never noticed how little I actually had. I pretened his friends were mine too when they probably weren't really. Not that I was disliked, but I should never have expected those friendships to continue after we broke up, and unfortunately for me, I did.

Lately all I've been able to think about is the end of senior year when I realized that after 4 years I hadn't made any true friends, contrary to what I had thought along the way. I thought while I was here I would've seen a couple more people than I did but I guess that just wasn't meant to be. People have their lives here and I can't expect to fall back into that just because I come home for a little while. I'm just glad I'm not here the whole summer or I really would be depressed. I've cried a lot in the last couple days just thinking about it all. I also know there are a couple weeks the end of the summer that I will be here and will have to go through the same things. I don't know how I'm gonna deal with that. I know I have a lot of great friends at school so it's not like I have nothing but this is supposed to be "home" and it just feels so empty.

This is probably going to be my last entry, at least for a while. I realize that most of the people I have friended on here are people from Columbia who probably don't give a shit about what I'm writing. I'm not looking for you all to say that you do, I'm not upset about that. It's a fact of life. I used to use this as a way to keep up with my friends from home so I could know what they were up to and they could know what I was doing but I realize there is no point to that anymore when we don't even talk when I'm here.

Since it's basically the end of the school year I've started doing a lot of thinking of everything that has happened in the last 9 months. It's hard to believe that I'm halfway done with college, that is frightening to me. In only 2 more years I'm gonna have to worry about getting a permanent job, where I want to live, and supporting myself. Time is going by way too fast. I just want to turn 21 and have time stop. Too bad thats impossible.

I've been through a lot this school year. The first half was pretty fucked up because I was an idiot and having trouble dealing with a lot of things. I wish I had been able to let go a lot sooner than I was, I would have been a lot happier. I still managed to enjoy myself for the most part those few months which is good I guess. The beginning of the year was also hard because I had random roommates again. It sucked going from living with Kelly who I actually liked to living with 2 girls who I knew I'd never be friends with. This semester has been a little better I guess, aside from the hassle of moving rooms because my ceiling was falling. What a fucking ordeal. And then 2 new random roommates. Luckily I like them more than I did the last 2.

This year I've also gotten closer to people here and further from the people at home. I guess thats how things are supposed to go. I probably should be more upset about this but I just see it as a fact of life. When you have a completely different life somewhere else and dont talk to the other people as often you're bound to grow apart. Thats not to say I don't like the people at home anymore, I really do and some days I do miss a lot of things about how my life was at home, but its hard to keep up with that when so much is happening here. I do hoep I see people while I'm home that one week though. It'll be boring to sit at my house the whole time.

This year I've also had to work a lot harder than I ever have before. Before things came pretty easily to me. I didnt do jack shit in high school and managed to get good grades. Last year I worked more than in the past but still not too bad. This year has been pretty insane, especially this semester. The amount of work I've done still surprises me. I miss the days of doing nothing.

I've started thinking about my major too. Since starting my job at the accounting firm I've started to question it a little. I know if I stick with it I will be very successful and make a lot of money but I'm not passionate about it at all. Its not like I get excited about going to work or my classes. Maybe it'll change when I learn about all the options in the field but I'm worried that I'm gonna end up unhappy when I'm older. I tend to worry too mcuh though so hopefully this won't happen.

The whole guy situation has been fucked up all year. I went from having a boyfriend, to a strange situation that lasted longer then my relationship, and to now enjoying being single and meeting people and seeing what happens. As much I'm enjoying being single being in a relationship definitely is better. It just makes me happier and more relaxed since I don't have to worry about lots of little things. Im not one of those girls that always needs a boyfriend but its definitely nice when that happens. We'll see where all this goes.

I guess thats about it. Next year should be better, less drama. I'll be in the same building as a lot of my friends which will be nice. More random roommates which sucks but it should work out, I'm getting used to that though so I'm sure it'll end up going well. Worst case scenario I'll be visiting my friends around the building a lot.

before tonight i had never celebrated 420. that all changed. i am stoned out of my mind right now. I've been kinda weird lately. Had lots on my mind. I'd really like to go back to normal and be happy again. I'm not happy right now. not unhappy either though. You know what i mean, What sucks a lot id i have class in 6 hours. i need to not get stoned on weeknights. fuckign crazyness. time to try and sleep. have a good night.

This past weekend was interesting. Thursday night I didn't do anything, I was so exhausted. I started watching Finding Neverland but I was too tired to finish, it was pathetic. I think the lack of sleep of this entire semester is catching up to me. Friday was tax day which meant the annual end of tax season party with my work. It was crazy. We started drinking at the office aroudn 5 then went to the party where we drank a lot more. I got a lot drunker than I had planned which pissed me off at first but what can you do. It happened, its not like any of my bosses will care, they were trashed and are chill anyways so its all good. Yesterday definitely wasnt fun though. I of course passed out without drinking any water so I was incredibly hungover. It last all day, that has never happened before really. If i had tried to drink last night I prob wouldve been sick. It was nice just chillin with some friends and then Andrew came over to watch a movie so it still ended up being a good night. I never want a hangover like that again. Today I got a lot of work done which was very necessary. I am a terrible writer though, im so glad i just finished my last research paper in college. Theres a reason I chose a major that has a lot of numbers. Nothing else in my life is very exciting. Im just glad the year is lamost over. I have had an insane amount of work this semester. i've definitely worked harder than I ever have before. I have to pay for my apartment completely on my own this summer. Im not really thrilled with my parents btu I can afford it I guess so its fine. In a way its nice to feel like Im really on my own and dont really need anyone. Well its time to go back to reading.

I have too many things running through my head to be able to focus very well. This past weekend should have been a lot better than it was. It's time to cut back on the drinking so I stop acting like a dumbass. Saturday night I drank a shitload and was at a party at my friend zach's. Tyler showed up there later and he was being weird again and I got really pissed off and basically stormed out. He and I have to talk about things, they are really fucked up right now. I think he thinks I want a relationship so hes freaking out and backing off though I dont want that at all. he and i would never work out. I want a relationship, just not with him. I think if I had a boyfriend Id be a lot more sane. As good as this situation is in some ways it really can be too difficult sometimes. As much as I may miss the regular sex it may be better to end this before I drive myself more insane. That night I also went a little crazy with my drunk dialing and was a complete idiot. Shit happens but I still feel bad.

Theres a guy I went on a date with in September but I never let much ahppen with it b/c I was still dealing w/ the Jon stuff but he and i hung out again the other day. He really is relationship material and i kind of regret not giving him more of a chance. I may try and hang out some more w/ him and see if theres anything there because I think I was too quick to judge the situation because I was so preoccupied with other things.

Today I went to the Orioles opening day with my dad. It was a lot of fun. It was a good game and it was cool seeing Sammy Sosa's first game as an Oriole. he seemed very excited about playing in Baltimore and I think he may end up being a good fit to the team. I love going to games though, Im gonna miss not being able to go to O's games easily this summer while Im in DC. Its cool that theres a team here now though but they suck and I dont know the players so i wouldnt want to spend my money on as many of their games. Im sure Ill make it to a few though.

Back to studying... shoot me now.

It's definitely been a long time since my last update. Last week was spring break. I didn't go anywhere exciting or anything but it was still good. I was home the 2 weekends and saw some people i hadn't seen in a long time which was really nice. I definitely missed some of my Columbia friends. It's funny how some things have changed since a couple of years ago when I still lived there and saw people on a regular basis. Everyone has changed so much since then. Some people just say things I never would have expected in the past. I'd go into more detail but without making it a private entry that would probably be a bad idea. The rest of the week was spent here working which was good. I really like my job and the people I work with and everything. I am definitely looking forward to this summer when I will be working a lot. I have gotten so lucky with the jobs I've had. I've always been at laid back places with cool people. The only person I don't like at this place is Nicole, another intern who also goes to GW. She's just kinda irritating and our personalities dont mix well. I can get along with people at work and not cause problems so it wont be a big deal but I would never want to talk to her outside of work. Its not gonna be great when we have lots of classes together next year b/c the accounting program is so small and there is only one section for each class. There will be plenty of other people though so its all good.

This week has been ok. I had a midterm the day we got back which wasn't cool at all. Stupid media class. I hope I did ok. There was so much information so it was pretty hard to study for. Other than that this week has been pretty chill. Alysa and Jamie were in Gtown shopping on Tuesday so I met up with them to get some food after my classes were over. It was good to see them. I caught up with people about what they did over break and stuff like that. I didnt have too much other work which was nice. I probably should have done more of my readings than I have done but o well. I'll get it all done eventually. Since this weekend is Easter a lot of people will be gone so I'll probably be able to find some time to get work done over the weekend. Tongiht is the OC! I'm excited. I really love that show, its a little sad how obsessed I am. I dont know whats going on after that though. Hopefully some drinking but who knows. I gotta be careful though b/c of work in the morning. I don't want to be as drunk as I was 2 weeks ago and have to deal w/ drinking lots of water and avoiding hangovers and shit like that.

So I just finished my last class of the week which made me very happy since spring break is starting!!! I'll be home tomorrow night for a few days but I'm coming back here Tues-Thurs (maybe longer) to work and then back home friday for the weekend. I need the money and it would be boring being at home the entire week since people have school and shit. Today I also filled out everything for my summer housing here. From May 29 - August 13 I'll be living in DC. YAY!!! I am so happy to not be home for most of the summer. I feel like I am getting more and more independent. I'm sure I'll go home to see people some weekends and everything but it's nice to know that for the entire summer I won't have to tell anyone where I'm going and will be pretty much on my own. I'll actually have time to use the gym here which is good, I just get so busy during the school year. It's pretty expensive and I'm splitting it with my parents but its worth it. Fucking GW always has to rip people off though. Well I'm exhausted and am gonna take a nap so I can have good times later tonight hopefully. If you wanna do anything while I'm home call me!

I have no more work left before break unfortunately most of my friends do so i am incredibly bored. Stolen from Jessi to kill some time:

1 minute ago: walking down the stairs from Karolina's room
1 day ago: relaxing after a very long day
1 week ago: doing lots of work
1 month ago: since it was a thursday probably having fun though i cant remember exactly
1 year ago: getting very excited for spring break and seeing what was gonna happen w/ a boy
5 minutes ago: upstairs
5 days ago: drinking and lots of fun
5 weeks ago: probably doing work
5 months ago: being an insane lunatic over boys, looking back i was just stupid and wasting away my life
5 years ago: high school, id rather forget those days
I am: happier than i have been in a long time
I am not: looking forward to getting up for my 8am tomorrow morning
I hurt: in my head
I love: my friends and being in DC as opposed to columbia
I hate: that i acted so stupid for so long
I fear: disappointing people
I hope: that tomorrow night is a billion times better than tonight
I hear: counting crows from my roommates computer
I crave: something i was hoping to get tonight but didnt b/c other people have homework (shouldnt be too hard to figure out haha)
I regret: convincing myself of a feeling that was never really there
I cry: less than i used to which makes me very happy
I care: about my friends and keeping myself happy since thats been so hard for me in the past
I always: think too much
I believe: that some people ignore what is right in front of them
I long: to have that someone who always is there to talk to right before i go to bed
I feel alone: when i hope to see someone and then realize they have homework
I listen: to friends whenever they need
I hide: the things i never should have done, though not from everyone
I drive: a camry when im home, which is hardly ever
I sing: hardly ever since i suck
I dance: when im drunk at a club
I write: when i have to for school, i dont think this counts as writing
I breathe: constantly
I play: every weekend
I miss: being held daily
I search: for what i want, though i still dont know what that is
I learn: that i didn't screw up as much as i thought in high school from people im friends with here
I feel: exhausted.. as usual with my waking up before 8 every day
I know: i still have a few things i want to change about myself
I say: whatever is on my mind
I succeed: id like to say at most things but thats probably an overstatement haha
I fail: when i overanalyze things
I dream: apparently all the time though i hardly ever remember
I wonder: when a certain situation will change
I want: to be asleep very soon
I have: a lot of life ahead of me
I give: too much of myself to people at times, not enough at others
I fell: too many times to count
I fight: hardly ever, only when im really upset
I wait: for things to be what i want them to be
I need: this week to be over

This was the last weekend before spring break, so clearly everyone was studying a lot for midterms since professors all seem to like to make the last week hell for everyone. But for me, the week after break will suck because 2 of my professors moved our exams to then. So it kinda sucked for me that people stayed in to do work b/c I didn't really have much I had to get done. Luckily I found things to do so it all worked out.

( My weekend )

I realized a lot about what I want this weekend. I don't think I can have it but I have learned to be happy about how things are because they are really good. And maybe one day he'll change his mind. Until then the situation is amazing so I'm gonna try and stop thinking so much. This week shouldn't be too bad. Only 1 midterm, a presentation, and my weekly psych paper. Then its spring break! I'll probably be home Friday night, maybe Saturday morning, so let me know when you all want to do something at home! I should be doing work right now but I really just don't care today, I don't know why btu I'm probably just gonna put it off until tomorrow. We'll see how that goes. It's gonna be so nice having a week off from classes, they're driving me insane right now.

Tonight was good. Tyler came over. We drank and watched family guy. It was a nice chill night, I definitely need more nights like this. No craziness yet still tipsy. Good times except that I have to be up at 8 to get ready for work. It's all good though, thats what coffee is for haha. I found out more of what I did last Friday - Lisa and Cori remind me to ask you somethign Jordan told me tonight. Holy shit I never want to be that wasted again. What a fucking ridiculous night haha, if only I remembered it. Well its time for slepe. Good night everyone.